2:01 a.m. - 2005-09-01
star spangled radio
in the period of ten or so days surrounding this entry, i will have said goodbye to big b mcD, my magical french maid, foxz, cheat-sheet of the planet ross, and my lotie love. tonight's was foxz, the easiest to bear but strangely the one inducing the most reflective state. all night i felt profundity at my fingertips but lost in a haze of cigarette smoke. i think it's better that way. sure, there were, spiced through the years (and especially concentrated in Weird Summer) some genuinely sublime and transcendent times at foxz .... but the typical foxz experience haas always been aimless and half-baked, dominated by lonesome cowboys, old addisons, shrill sorostitutes, disturbing grown women, and the inability to permanently catch the eyes of the one hot girl who did end up showing up this particular week.
in all these things foxz delivered tonight, and so it is an appropriate ending. not as appropriate as it would have been for the building to simply cave in right after that guy sang "dirty deeds done dirt cheap" last year, but life never really delivers like that. also we would have all been killed.
the first night i ever came to foxz it was with natalie and a crew of her soon-to-be-forgotten dorm friends. this is in the days when i not only seemed socially useless and incompetent, but actually felt, at all times, utterly out of place and generally put-upon. in other words i was one of those snotty people with a chip on their shoulder about not having a good time. (even more than now, jokers.) anyway, so we're talking almost exactly five years ago, maybe minus a couple months. but the plan was on the table to do "love shack"; it fell through and we all ended up leaving feeling cranky and in dispute, although thankfully this didn't all revolve around me. (i think it had something to do with val losing the keys..?) anyway, where i'm going with all this is that i have never undertaken 'love shack' since, although i have danced to it and sung along and so on. tonight, hana tossed out the idea of doing the b-52s and i was all for it; only later did i remember all this history (lest you think i conned her into it due solely to one of my attempts to achieve finality and closure in life's stories)... THE POINT: we nailed it! it was magnificent. i busted some moves and had some panache, and if there had been a crowd there we would have destroyed it. also hana smiled a lot.
after that, there wasn't really too much to do but i made a point of sitting on the cinderblocks across from the back door in the gross yellow light, watching brown stuff plop from a busted pipe into the ash-heap of ten thousand cigarettes. just for old times' sake.
when the new foxz debuts it will be with a new karaoke guy. hopefully he will have "der komissar."
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