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10:47 a.m. - 2003-08-02
tahlk to the hahnd, you idiot! i'm detective john kimble!
sometimes i have daydreams about travelling back in time with current pop culture and seeing whether i can change history.

for example: what would barry gordy (1960s: motown magnate) think if i walked into his office with a copy of 'bootylicious'? aside from struggling with the weird "ready for this jelly" slang, i think he'd think it was off the hook. assuming further that it could ever get played on 1960s radio despite its rather forward portrayal of female sexuality, it would change music history; after all, a song as shamelessly derivative as this naturally contains within it the ungerminated, forgotten seeds of all that has come before it. spread out and unwound, 'bootylicious' contains funk and disco and 1990s r&b. exposed to it decades before its time, musicians travel to new heights of experimentation way ahead of time, changing the path of music, and thus preventing 'bootylicious' from ever being recorded in the first place.

this would have totally been a cooler time-travel movie than terminator 3.

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