2:00 a.m. - 2005-08-07
shambol on
another funny little evening with the o.t.c. at the o.t.l. (my coworker tony, when i told him what i was going to on saturday, asked, 'are you speaking gibberish?') anyway, i spent most of the night feeling deeply socially strange. not inept, just sort of useless, and not bored with the people i was talking to, just boring. none of this made me especially unhappy, although it did lead me towards the zone of melancholy, by air. but i waded in some cold water alone, and that was nice; after i slept through most of "don chambers and GOAT" (move over, "southern bitch") i felt even foggier but thankfully it meant i had the strength to go down and be moved to dance by the last few tall dwarves songs.
this was the best part of the night because i was totally feeling the music and not thinking of anything besides the music. that's the space you want to get into at a concert, that oblivion where your mind is functioning chiefly as a receptacle for sounds. (alternately, another good state is where the sounds are working mainly as a medium for you to enter kind of a just-before-sleep state and let just random crap jump around all over your mind - i have felt this way at most classical performances i've attended). anyway so the olivia tremor control put on a great solid show with many moments that make you go "shit, that's great!" like whatsisface, whatsisface, and john fernandez all just yelling together at one part of one song (and yelling just like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA type yelling), or whatever. but i'm not like a fan of their records, so after a while i sat down and that was fine, basically like last year after the amazing wraith-like will oldham concert during the rain, when the rain stopped and then they did an electrified set for the faithful. i'm not among the faithful, so much so that i thought every other song was a cover of some song i couldn't place from the 70s.
patrick byrne was shamboling through the crowd with a tattered american flag cape, facial hair, and a bugle that he occasionally played in some sort of gesture of solidarity with the band on stage.
this whole business of not even knowing how to seem sophisticated or at least funny and attractive to 18 year olds needs to stop. right before or right after the business of even wanting to. this is pathetic, i should totally be able to intrigue and generate crushes in girls my own age. maybe i need some hobbies or something.
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