3:59 p.m. - 2007-04-24
looking into the suuuuuuuuuun
I have an ongoing war with undergrads who decide to show off by playing the piano in this building. As i once wrote on a note taped to the piano: "Even if this piano were in tune (it's not), AND you could play well (you can't), AND the acoustics weren't awful (they are), we STILL wouldn't want to hear you play. We are very busy and it is very annoying. No offense, The Students."
Despite such helpful and oh-so-Addisonian notes, people have continued to play the damn thing, almost invariably choosing one of the following songs: "Heart And Soul," "Fur Elise," "Oh When The Saints Go Marching In," that Coldplay song, and "Moonlight Sonata." All are, of course, played horribly and haltingly, with a lot of doubling-back. You'd think if someone only knew how to play "Heart And Soul" they'd know how to play it correctly at this point, but again, it doesn't matter, thanks to the out of tune piano, etc.
Setting aside the occasion when I ran out of Structures recitation and screamed up through the void of the building to the third floor "STOP IT! JUST STOP IT! JESUS CHRIST!" etc., my typical way of dealing with the situation is to march decisively in the direction of the piano. Sometimes the people continue to fail to react even when I'm right on top of them, leading to me copping severely irritating attitudes, like leaning on the piano, asking "Do you take requests?"
"Uh, sure?"
"STOP."
"Stop...playing?"
"Yes. Thanks." (already on my way back to my desk)
This is satisfying in its way, but has nothing on the pure ridiculousness of today's encounter. This guy stops playing ("Heart And Soul") as he sees me drawing near, and actually manages to ask this question: "How can you hear that?"
To which I could only respond "How can I hear that? This building is one continuous space, how do you think I can hear it? Sound waves travel through air! Jesus!"
Dan wants me to start keeping a journal of all these encounters, so we can later chart who was playing what song when and what I said to them/what sarcastic name I called them ("Listen up, Gershwin" - "Hey, Lieber and Stoller!")... unfortunately, the guys that play this piano are always completely nondescript bros.
I either need a vacation, or to play River City Ransom.
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