1:11 a.m. - 2003-12-09
j joan jawin on the phone
my next feature film is going to concern a borderline dork boy like myself getting his brain switched with a fly girl like jiji lurko. hijinks ensue as i try to navigate being the girl whose rug-cutting everyone envies, who everyone wants to be near or even be....while lurko is stuck writing the rest of my section of the gay and lesbian studies paper! ha ha ha!
ha. seriously though, it does inspire me to a little bit of musing on identity and attractiveness that is nowhere near coherent enough to discuss, but the germ of it is that on some level i have long wanted to be That Girl who thankfully does not permit herself to really, REALLY know what hot shit the rest of the world has long since figured out she is. hot here means fly, cool in the classic sense of handling the world with a discerning eye. or are these merely traits i have projected on to her? no matter - we're dealing with hypotheticals and abstractions here, jiji lurko a fiction representative of some person with a real world identity, and complex feelings, and moments of vulnerability and other things of no relevance to this thought experiment..... but as i was saying, to be such a girl, would it be a hell of a lot of work? at least for a couple days i could coast on my stolen reputation and be treated as a true jiji, and i would know what it feels like. to be a star, i mean.
ah, who am i kidding - this is by no means an actual preoccupation of mine. being popular with hipsters is completely for chumps (see gwahib-dimal), and it's to jiji's credit that she seems to do it largely by virtue of being nice, fun, and worth hanging out with in solid ways. everybody wants to be around someone like that, even hipsters, but it's not necessarily because they are a gilded superstar. if i envy her anything it is her work ethic, which has trounced mine repeatedly this semester.... speaking of which it's time for bed! ha! hope you like this one jj.
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